Buksanfisning

How to looky at a firlm

in your very nieuw

dvd-watching.apparatus

Hallo. Congratinasions to yeur giving of a new firlm. It is a very goody firlm. But pleaz observe, that it is a veary special firlm. Yea, it may looky like a normal firlm, but it is not. It is a ploducktion from Happy Duckling Chines factory! Are you happy? Good! Are you a duckling? No? That is normal.

Pleaz let the Happy Duckling information pamfrlet gaudí you to using happy your nieuw firlm. It iz eesy. You go on reading, pleaz. You no can read? How then you get so far? But then asking someone else’s body read.

1) You want to look your nieux firlm. You must unwrap it. Pleaz, remoov the thin papper frlom it. Not lemoove the fat papper frlom it. It is a part of the firlm box.

2) Now you can look your firlm. Open the box (lemember, the thing of fat papper). There it is. It is a disco lokking like aluminium and a hole in the middle. Go on, look at it. You hpapy?

3) Now assistent Ping Long Bäng tells everybody I’m a stupid moron not knowing I suppost light a instruction on how look firlm in dvd-lookingapparat. Not easy know. You not satisfried only looking firlm as a very lound disc? You tipical vesterny pappcitalist!

4) Ok, I want keep job. Pleaz, go on reading. No compraine, ok!

5) Kkep firlm in box (fat papper thing) till time look.

6) Make sure your TV is safe. If it iz a action firlm, the TV pelhaps start bouncy frlom magnifisent sound affect. Tape it fast on table. Veary important! Your friends viorent? Go velting youl TV. No! Tape it fast on table! Pleaz use Happy Duckling glueytape.

7) TV is electric apparat. Put sticky contact in thing in wall look like piggy nose. Must be TV STICKY CONTACT or no function.


8) DVD look apparat also eclectic. Put sticky contact in piggy nose thing.

9) No sound in TV? Because you lemov TV sticky contact and put dvd look apparat sticky contact in stead in piggy nose thing. Look where other piggy nose thing? Stick putty pig in contact nose.

10) If no piggy thing nearby, go looking axtention courd. Old apratement smometimes miss piggy thing. Learly long axtension curde needing.

11) Suddenl veary much sound in TV? Lemov sticky contact frlom piggy nose thing. Go look where remoat contlolr. If lemoat control vealy lemoate, you giving exorcise. Looking slim and sweating copiously.

12) Lepet step 7 – 9. Bee plepared! When lot sound in TV, you miniscule it be help frlom lemoat contlolr.

13) No sound in TV? Pless on on pless thing on front on TV. Is it on?

14) No sound in TV? Lissen ladio. Also veary good.

15) Important also pless on on button on dvd look apparat.

16) Now ready look dvd. Where dvd firlm? I told you keep it in fat papper thing!

17) Wait nealsighted lelative go buy nieuw dvd firlm after sitting on it. You have guests? Look tield waiting? Why no you wait on them and bling them smom tea from Sina?

18) Your palticular firlm sold out in affaire. But this one look good as well. Clumpsy lelativ no serving tea.

19) Time look firlm dvd good. No light in dvd look apparat? You lemov tea boiling apparat sticky contact frlom pig nose thing and put dvd look apparat sticky pig in contact nose. Why no boile tea in kitchen?

20) Pless thing on dvd look apparat that opens apparat. How I suppost know how look like? Pless evely button till good thing happens!

21) Open fat papper thing and extlact firlm disco.

22) Nieuw firlm no in fat papper thing? Open plastic thing. Extlact firlm disco.

23) You a little slow motion person. Dvd look apparat crose it self. Lepet step 19. If you lemember what button good pless, no needy pless evely button again. You can put gleen tape on button good thing lemember.

24) Take up dvd disco from fat papper or plastic thing not using fingers because destloy firlm. Chines popchicks good or suck it up on vacuum cleaner. All good firlm spectatorls suck.

25) Put dvd disco on veary small tlay on dvd look apparat. Tlay is flimsy and go asunder easely you must craefuel ploceed. Light side up! If later no see firlm, long side up. Put light side light up!
26) Crose the tlay dvd on. You push it gentry. Sometmimes as well functione if pull out sticky contact, but no see firlm.

27) Wait. Dlick up tea. Where the spongecake?

28) On TV evelyone see picture and text. Lemoat control needy. You push it till firlm start. It is olika every time. You see play is good on the way. Often many decolate couloured things on TV. Jumping alound as well. Choose one look good, if good thing happens you pless good.

29) You no happy see firlm in Albanian and Kurdish text? Pless a lot of buttons on lemoat contlong and see what happens. No good? Scleem of exaspelation till fliendly and pelhaps good looking nejbour come helping.


30) To stop look firlm, lemov sticky contact, thlow avay dvd look apparat and go hobby you like making tofu models Gleat Wall of Sina.

31) Youre fliends vealy much not impatient. Where gläddtårlta? Eat good cake and be happy!